I arrived at the orphanage just before four in the afternoon yesterday. I had taken the S-Bahn from downtown and then walked through a beautiful Christmas market. They are all over Hamburg this time of year, tucked into every corner and on every marketplace. The air smelled sweet and the rain had finally let up. I tucked my polka dot umbrella into my purse and focused on finding my way, Moleskin in hand. I passed by a children's clothing store and then a mossy brick church till I arrived at the powdery yellow house with white trim. I paused for a moment before I entered the courtyard and listened to the faint laughter of children. The courtyard was empty. The air was bittersweet.
I met the headmistress with a firm handshake and we sat and talked over cups of fresh brewed coffee. She told me a little bit about her background (she is a licensed psychologist and has the kindest face you can imagine) but she mostly wanted to know my background and why I was offering to spend some of my Saturday working for free. I found myself opening up to her and telling her my current situation and my plans for the future, how I am starting to realize the career path I have been on might not be what I want from my life. We talked for an hour or so and then she asked me if I wanted to meet the kids I would be teaching. I swallowed my nerves and nodded. We climbed up a flight of stairs and entered one kids room. Colorful paintings lined the windowsill, the walls reflected a soft blue, stuffed animals were sprawled on the bed...a normal kids room. I was greeted by four kids and eight large and curious eyes.
"Are you really going to teach us English?" a girl asked me. Of course, this was said to me in German, so it was much, much cuter.
I looked at the headmistress and she nodded, "Yes, Linda is going to be joining us."
My "pupils" range from nine to twelve and are naturally at very different levels with their English. One common thread is that they all come from broken homes. I can only imagine what they have already been through at such young ages. But it doesn't frighten me.
Am I really doing this? Yes, I am. I am doing research on graduate schools in Oregon, Colorado, Washington and, obviously, Europe. I need to brush up on my math skills if I plan on taking the GRE next fall with a passing score (I haven't taken math in ten years and I was terrible at it then). All this while simultaneously working on my Icelandic (just trying to pronounce words like "fiðrildi", which means "butterfly," takes quite a bit of patience).
My plate is getting quite full these days, but my hands are steady and I am hungry for more.